One of my favorite things to do is to write on my blog. I think it’s because it’s something I do just for me. It’s not for my kids, it’s not for my hubby. It’s for me. I don’t paint, or sew (at least not anymore), I don’t sing or write poetry. But writing on this blog allows me to tap into my creative side. And when I am creative, I feel energized. It feels like an accomplishment. But, I have a problem. Because life is busy (as it is for everyone I am sure), I don’t take the time to write. Pretty soon my blog posts stretch further and further apart. At this point, my dysfunctional perfectionism takes over. I figure if I’m not writing on a regular basis, I won’t write at all. And when I don’t write at all, I don’t get the satisfaction I get when I post on my blog. My idea for this blog is to write about things I do as I raise my family that might some how, some way be helpful to others. If I don’t have anything that I deem profound enough, then I don’t write. Then my whole cycle of not writing continues. Today I had this idea. Even when I’m super busy, I usually have time, energy, and motivation to write emails to my friend Lisa. Lisa and I live pretty close, but really only get to see each other for a limited time after church on Sundays. I thought to myself, “I ought to just post my letters to Lisa on my blog.” It would be kind of an experiment to see if that would keep my posting juices flowing. In these letters I would not mention much of Lisa at all. She’s a very private person and would NOT appreciate me doing such a thing. In between my “blog worthy informational posts”, I will post my letters to Lisa. Today will be my first installment of “Letters To Lisa”
I’ve had sort of this “real” transformation with body image. When I say “real” I mean it’s in my heart and not just my head. In the past I would try to talk myself into accepting my body as it is. I would pray and pray for God to heal me in this area. I’ve listened to this podcast called “The Paleo Women Podcast” a few times and it’s like their words actually sink in. They talk about how we all don’t need to have a certain body image (skinny, muscular, curvy, etc) to have value. Duh. I know, it’s what God talks about all the time. I am so glad. When I look at other women, I am not judgmental or condemning. With really heavy people, I do feel a lot of sad for them, but that’s allowed I think. More importantly, when I look at myself, I’m like, “Yup, this is just how my body looks.” I’m sad it’s taken me 46 years to get it figured out, but better late then never. I’m really glad for this new approach when it comes to my girls. I want to cheer them on saying, “You go girl!! You are just fine the way you are!! You are strong, you are capable!!” I have a real passion to convey this to my girls. Our culture is just hideously hard on our girls.
Speaking of hideous, today, one of our older girls went to work with a typed list of offenses that outlined all the things one of her co-workers (a teen boy) did to her yesterday. Her plan was to give the list to her supervisor. This boy:
called her a brown ogre
flipped her off
poured water down her shirt
called her bitchy
called her fat
licked his hand and rubbed it on her.
Ugh. Every where we go we meet difficult people. But, I know these are all life lessons that we get to help our children walk through. We get to teach them that they matter and belong. We teach them to set boundaries and to stick up for themselves.
Speaking of Life lessons 🙂 I am LOVING our knew math curriculum. We have been learning to add, subtract and multiply on the abacus. It seriously turns math into fun. I coerced Josia into learning how to subtract (with borrowing). Even she thought it was fun. I hope it’s all this fun. I have never actually taught math without the help of a DVD showing an actual teacher. With this program I have to learn it all so I’m trying to do that this summer.
I worked out this morning (kick boxing class) and felt totally fine. Half way home I started feeling nauseous. When I got home I had diarrhea and vomited multiple times. Lisa, you don’t know this about me, but when I dry heave, I make a horrendous noise. It’s not so bad when there is something in my stomach to throw up. But the dry heaves, they sound horrible!! I awakened Michael with the noisy heaves, then I awakened Van. I would have just kept the vomiting to the bathroom, but I had to rummage through the hallway closet to find feminine napkin supplies because the vomiting was causing me to have urinary incontinence. So, I held my bowl, threw up, all while searching for a pad (definitely need to address this urinary incontinence problem).
I started a merit system for our chores. Since all five older kids have jobs, the house chores were looking pretty shabby. So, now I have made a check list and everyone gets checked off before any fun can be had. It’s only day 2 but it’s working fabulously!! I should have done this sooner.