Well, I’ve entered a new phase of parenting. Maybe not so much a phase as a new approach, a new realization, or something along those lines. My family has always been my little sanctuary. My place of refuge. Don’t get me wrong. It’s also my insane asylum, my circus. But usually, its the place I most want to be. I have always wanted our home to be a sanctuary for our children as well. Another parenting goal I have had is to show enough of God’s love to keep my children off the path of destruction.
I realize though, that I can do my very best to:
*Teach my children to process their feelings,
*Teach them how to eat well and heal their bodies,
*Teach them about the love of our Heavenly Father,
*Teach them that to give love, is to receive love.
*Teach them that opening their hearts to God’s children (big and small) can lead to pain, but it also can lead to abundant joy.
I can teach them these values of mine through example and through words, but it does not mean they will incorporate these believes as their own. I can love them, but it doesn’t mean they will believe they are lovable. All of us, even our children, have been given free will. We might be able to insist they do their homework, their chores, etc. But they are the ones that have control over whether or not they let people into their heart. They get to chose if they let their walls down enough to give and to accept love. For me, this is where parenting gets difficult. This is where I have to bring in the Big Guns (God). I cannot do this part alone. It is so scary to watch someone I love so much to chose, right before my eyes, the path of loneliness. The path that says, “I need no one, I can do this alone.”
This is where I give my children to God (yet again) and say to Him, “I know you love them more then even I do, please keep them safe in your arms and love them during this time when they won’t allow me to.” I have found my peace in this. I have found peace knowing that ultimately, it’s not up to me, so there is no good that comes from worrying about the results. I’ll take each day and ask God to help me love my children, but I will leave the results of my efforts to God. If I don’t do this, then when I see that my love isn’t “working” then I let my fear of the unknown future guide my words and my actions. And I have learned, if fear is guiding my words and actions, then I am not allowing the Holy Spirit to work through me. If I allow my fear to control me, it does not turn out well for anyone.